They’ve been married lower than three years, however Andrea McLean and Nick Feeney have already battled by means of their justifiable share of challenges. Speaking to OK! journal in an unique interview, the couple reveal why they determined to hunt marriage counselling after Andrea went by means of a breakdown final 12 months.
While the Loose Women favorite was her standard upbeat self on the programme, she was secretly affected by despair.
Only her husband was conscious of the scenario. “I wanted to go to counselling before our relationship got bad,” Nick, 47, explains.
The couple had three periods in order that he might higher perceive what Andrea was going by means of. “The biggest compliment for Nick is that I felt safe enough to fall with him,” Andrea, 50, tells us.
The couple are at present isolating in Surrey with Andrea’s kids, Finlay, 18, and Amy, 13, from earlier marriages, whereas Nick’s daughters, Tia-Lily, 17, and Sienna, 15, have been spending a while on the home. Along with their Cavapoo canine Teddy, it makes their family very busy, however they nonetheless had time to pose for some pictures of their garden.
Here, the pair chat about their joint enterprise enterprise and why they’re positive they’ll be collectively for ever…
Andrea, when did you realise you wanted assist?
I simply hit a wall sooner or later. I got here house and stated to Nick, “We need to talk.” I used to be giving every thing 120 per cent, and I wasn’t taking care of myself. We have our web site, This Girl Is On Fire, which goals to empower ladies by giving them knowledgeable recommendation, however I wasn’t following that myself. It was a stark warning to each of us that we would have liked to take inventory of every thing. Fun was one thing I forgot about as a result of my focus was on surviving.
Nick, how did you are feeling watching her undergo it?
When Andrea first opened up, she informed me there have been a couple of issues I used to be doing that weren’t serving to, and that she felt I wasn’t listening to her. I assumed we had a tremendous relationship, so for my spouse to inform me that was devastating.
What prompted you each to go to marriage counselling?
Nick: It was me that recommended we acquired some counselling. Andrea stated, “Oh no, it’s not that bad”, however I assumed we would have liked assist earlier than our relationship turned dangerous. I’d beforehand had counselling after the breakdown of
my first marriage. We’d been collectively 25 years and at all times thought it was without end so I needed to cope with that.
Andrea: I’d by no means had any counselling earlier than so it was new to me.
Nick: We really solely had three periods collectively, and then Andrea went by means of quantity extra to study herself. I wanted to study that a variety of Andrea’s scenario had nothing to do with me. It’s simple for folks to make it about themselves and say, “I haven’t done anything.
Why are you being like that?”
Was there some extent if you thought you may divorce?
Andrea: Absolutely not. We’ll be collectively without end.
Nick: Even once we first acquired collectively, Andrea wasn’t in an incredible place, and neither was I. We might have simply stated, “Let’s just leave it, we’ve got enough of our own s**t,” however we didn’t.
Why did you resolve to open up about your breakdown on Loose Women, Andrea?
I didn’t resolve. During lockdown I’ve been writing a e-book about how I put myself again collectively after a breakdown in order that was on the forefront of my thoughts once I was recording Loose Women. As quickly because the phrases got here out my mouth, I assumed, “What have I said on live TV?” however I don’t remorse opening up. I simply hope folks can have acquired some form of consolation from it. I’m not this girl who’s acquired all of it collectively – I’ve my struggles the identical as everybody else.
Nick: Andrea has been by means of a lot within the final couple of years, however now she’s constructing herself again up right into a a lot stronger girl. She is flourishing.
Is that good to listen to, Andrea?
It is definitely fairly emotional as a result of once I was going by means of it, I felt actually responsible for making the individual that I really like undergo it with me. I’m the form of individual that holds every thing in and retains smiling, however inside I used to be actually misplaced, scared and feeling susceptible.
Do you are feeling proud that you simply acquired by means of this collectively?
Andrea: Yes, positively. The largest praise for Nick is that I felt secure sufficient to fall with him.
Nick: I take it as an honour that she was in a position to break all the way down to me. That takes a variety of belief.
Do you are feeling you’re in place now?
Definitely. I see every day as a chance for a contemporary begin. I do battle with at all times staying constructive, however I practise gratitude daily.
Are you continue to having any remedy?
Andrea: No, we stopped final 12 months. It appears like such a very long time in the past as we’ve come to date.
Nick: Any time we need to dip again in, we will. We do argue, however we’re at all times sort to one another.
What is one of the best factor about your marriage?
Andrea: I really feel like I will be me and there aren’t any repercussions.
Nick: Without sounding too tacky, Andrea has allowed me to search out myself.
How have you ever been spending your days in lockdown?
Andrea: I haven’t had a minute as a result of I used to be within the ultimate phases of ending my e-book. Usually we do a exercise within the morning, and then do some work. At 10.30am we meet for our morning espresso and then head again to our rooms. In the afternoons we meet to speak in regards to the web site. Nick works on it in our transformed storage.
How lengthy have you ever lived on this home?
Andrea: I moved right here in 2012, and then I feel Nick arrived in 2016.
Nick: I began out with a rest room shelf, and even now that I dwell right here I nonetheless solely have one!
How did you discover dwelling with a accomplice once more?
Nick: I’ll let you know what she discovered hardest – giving up the pink wallpaper and curtains!
Andrea: Many ladies who’ve acquired divorced will perceive that if you transfer into someplace by yourself, you are feeling an actual possession. I assumed, that is my home and I’ll adorn it in a extremely girly method with plenty of pink.
Nick: When Andrea was able to let go, we adorned collectively, and we do even have related tastes.
Your garden appears pretty…
Andrea: I really like my garden – it brings me a lot happiness. We’ve used lockdown to work on it and purchase some pretty garden furnishings. We’re considering getting a sizzling tub, too, or probably a small pool. The method we see it, we’re not occurring vacation, so we wished to carry the vacation to our again garden.
How have you ever discovered having a blended household at the moment?
Andrea: We are all on the identical web page in making an attempt to verify the children are taking advantage of this time. I’m very conscious of all people’s psychological well being and need to be certain the kids are attaining one thing daily in order that they get that feeling of satisfaction.
Nick: It’s a extremely well-oiled machine. We’ve all acquired our variations as folks, however so long as everybody behaves like adults, then we’ve acquired no issues. Everyone’s focus is at all times on what’s one of the best for the kids.
Do the kids get together with one another?
Andrea: They all do! Amy and Sienna are finest pals, and they discuss stuff that we do not know about! When they heard we had been getting married, they had been screaming, “We’re going to be sisters.”
Nick: They all genuinely take care of one another. They even look related, so that you’d by no means know we had been a blended household. Andrea’s kids have their dad and I’d by no means attempt to exchange him, however I do love them as in the event that they’re my very own.
Are you in a position to have any high quality time collectively in the intervening time?
Andrea: Before lockdown we needed to make an actual effort to have a household dinner as soon as per week – now they’re almost each evening! We have to recollect to get time for simply us two.
Nick: We have had some date nights and made an effort for one another. We’ll inform the kids to go as much as their rooms, and we’ll open a bottle of wine.
Andrea, have you ever loved having a break from at all times getting glammed up?
Nick: She’s having fun with the break from bras. It was the very first thing that got here off after the shoot!
Andrea: It’s been pretty to not need to get glammed up each single day. But I actually loved doing it for this shoot. We additionally dress up for household themed nights. I organised some drinks for the older kids and us as a result of Nick was getting too critical with work. We had piña coladas and rum punches. We then determined to dye Finlay’s hair pink. Another night we determined to have a dance-off, and the ladies’ crew gained! Although I’ve to say that had nothing to do with me. I used to be positively the weakest hyperlink.
Andrea, have you ever loved being again within the Loose Women studio?
When I heard we had been going again I used to be actually nervous. I used to be used to lockdown, and I didn’t need to put my kids in any form of hazard, however ITV has taken the proper precautions and now I’m three weeks in, it’s good to be again. It’s pretty to be across the different ladies. We did keep in contact on our WhatsApp group, and even had a Zoom social gathering for Saira Khan’s 50th birthday.
Why did you resolve to begin your podcast This Girl Is On Fire?
Andrea: My aim is in the end to empower 100 million ladies around the globe. That feels like such a daring declare, however I’ve at all times been very grateful for the truth that I’ve been in a position to present for myself and my kids – I need different ladies to have that chance. I’ve tried to clarify to my daughter that I’m immensely privileged to dwell in a society the place I might decide to stroll away from a wedding that wasn’t wholesome. Many ladies aren’t in that place, in order that’s the rationale I really feel so enthusiastic about This Girl Is On Fire. Many folks may suppose, “Why do you have your husband working on it?” but when you’ll find a male who will raise you up, then you might want to utilise it.
Nick: I really like what I do and I genuinely sit up for work daily. The purpose we get a lot suggestions on our web site is as a result of Andrea is trustworthy about her experiences. I can’t personally assist everybody, however I need to attain folks by offering fantastic info
and tips about our web site.
Andrea McLean’s second e-book, This Girl is on Fire: How to Live, Learn and Thrive in a Life You Love, is on the market for pre-order.